Alicia Marie

Mesmerized

Long ago I came down with a little cold. Laying on a couch far too large for my little body there in our old living room I was mesmerized with the sight of our little fish tank. Sure, I had the option to turn the tv on to watch cartoons, but there was something so calming staring at the fish.

Although this memory was created years ago I have had a hard time brushing it out of my mind. I’ve found myself thinking about this moment at odd times through out my life. Whatever it might be that triggers this memory causes this longing to just go back in time, lay there on the couch watching those little fish swim in the tank.

It’s all about Jesus

Coming out of the year 2020 entering into 2021 I had to personally make some hard decisions. Through lots of fasting, praying and seeking guidance from spiritual authorities in my life, I made the decisions I needed to make. Although I knew with all my heart I was making the right choices, there was a little part of me that was self-centered and didn’t want to budge and do what I needed to do. I made up so many excuses and tried to make everything seem reasonable and stay the same. Fortunately, God took this situation away from my hands and did what HE needed to do.

Before I knew it everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, began to fall into place. One of the things that happened during this time was that my parents accepted a senior pastor position at Epicenter Church OKC, OK while still remaining the head leaders over Breakthrough Ministry based in Kingfisher, OK.

Epicenter Church’s slogan goes like this: Love God. Love people. It’s all about Jesus.

As we were preparing for the first Sunday at Epicenter Church “It’s all about Jesus” repeated in my mind. The more it repeated in my mind my heart got ahold of it and began to process. Here’s what “It’s all about Jesus” caused me to realize…

Well simply put.. the world doesn’t revolve around me. Everything I say and do, even the decisions I make should all revolve around Jesus.

So I began questioning my motives.. All that I’m doing, is it glorifying The Lord or me?

Humbling, right?

As I mentioned earlier sometime during 2020 a piece of me became very self-centered. Because of that I came way to close to missing what God was preparing.

Before I knew it I fell on my knees asking God to forgive me for my selfishness.

Slow-mo

Let’s fast-forward about a week or two.

After asking for forgiveness from God I began to draw closer to Jesus simply by lifting His name up high. Thanking Jesus for staying with me and not leaving my side. Thanking Him for guiding my path according to His will and not my own.

By faith doing this I drew closer and closer to Jesus. I literally felt so close to Jesus it was like I was walking in His arms through those few weeks. During this time so many doors began to open up for me.

Doors that I had been worrying about.

Doors that I tried to pry open with my own hands, but ultimately failed at fulfilling.

Doors that I had been praying to open… all of a sudden opened.

Through these weeks I felt like everything was moving in slo-mo yet in full speed at the same time.

Well that makes sense..

Looking back at the very beginning of this year I realize the deep similarities between those moments and the time long ago staring into that fish tank.

The fish inside of the fish tank swam with ease knowing that they were taken care of. They weren’t worried about whether or not they were going to eat that day. They were not worried about swimming in a dirty tank. They knew that they were safe inside of the glass tank full of fresh water. Although everyone and everything outside of that fish tank was in full speed running around, rushing to go places. The fish remained swimming around in a peaceful pace within their tank.

How beautiful is it to think about how we have the option to choose not to worry about how we are going to get food on the table or how we’re going to get money to pay the bills.

Just as the fish have glass as their protection we have the choice of having the Lord surround us with His very own protection.

Just as the fish swam peacefully in the tank with no worries we have the option of living life in peace knowing that the Lord is in control.

Whenever we choose to draw closer to Jesus everything around us changes. Even the rhythm we move to changes. No longer are we rushing through life, we begin to live in that slo-mo yet in full speed.

I will be the first to admit that walking in the unknown is scary. Not being in-control is very hard.. at first.

The very moment we begin to lift our eyes to the Lord that burden we’ve been carrying is lifted.

The ‘what if’ turns into ‘thank you Jesus’.

The loneliness turns into an overflow of love.

The broken heart turns into a mended heart.

How He does it, I’ll never fully understand. BUT I’ll choose to thank Him anyways.

To the one

To the one who is having a hard time letting go of control.

You’ve looked at your situation from every perspective. You’ve tried to make sense of it all. You’ve tried to pry some doors open. Instead of feeling satisfied you’ve been left with a headache and an anxious heart.

You’ve tried EVERYTHING. Nothing seems to be working, right?

Let’s take a moment to look what Proverbs tells us..

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he shall direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5&6 NKJ

It doesn’t say to trust with just a little bit of your heart. No. Proverbs tells us to trust the Lord with ALL your heart.

You’ve already tried leaning on your own understanding.. why not try leaning on Him??

Why acknowledge God? So our eyes are focused on Him and not the situation at hand. We also acknowledge Him so that we don’t get the glory but He receives all the glory, honor and praise.

Yes, it seems scary to let go and place full trust in God. I urge you to take that leap of faith and trust that the Lord has you. He is not going to let you fall. He already has a plan for what you are going through but He is waiting for you to lay it all down at His feet.

As you begin to surrender it all to the Lord get ready to experience something that you haven’t felt in a while.. peace.

So take a deep breath. God has you in the palm of his hands. His love for you is far greater than you can ever imagine! Keep on trusting Him and watch what He will do!

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philipians 4:7 NIV